• Jillian Wesselow

Top 10 Hottest World Politicians

Updated: Sep 14, 2020

By Jillian Wesselow

Having scoured the internet for top ten hottest lists, I found that there was something lacking. By no means is there a limited amount of lists available, in fact there is a great deal of them. Ranging from hottest actors/ actresses to Olympic athletes, from 90’s hip hop stars to 18th century Viennese composers. But what about world politicians? No, not the obscure Slavic models who ran for various positions, I mean politicians who currently occupy high ranking positions, or have held such positions in the past. Maybe there is such a list out there, but it’s probably inaccurate. For this list will not be based on superficial criteria, such as appearance alone. Personal history, achievements in office, etc, will have great effects on the final men chosen. This list will only include men, but women might have a list coming in the future. 

#10 United States: Steve Bannon

You might be surprised not to see Donald Trump chosen as the representative for the US, but he was definitely a top contender. While his uneven tanned skin may have given any woman a good swoon, his bad boy factor wasn’t quite as high as Steve’s.  Looks wise, Steve’s got it going on. Is it the slightly wind-swept, soot coloured locks of hair, or is it those rather inflamed, rosy flushed cheeks? I might be just a bit biased, as I do have an attraction to Smeagol from Lord of the Rings, and Steve does bear an affinity for him.  Regardless, it’s that hazardous attitude towards women, that makes him just so irresistible. And ladies, us being white doesn’t hurt our chances either ;)

#09 South Africa: Jacob Zuma

Who doesn’t love a little corruption? Former South African President Jacob Zuma doesn’t seem like the type of guy who would take bribes just for pure personal gain.  Look into that cackling, glowing face, and tell me he didn’t do it for his nation? But ladies, if any of us kinky gals are looking for something a little more non-conforming, and non-monogamous, look no further…..this polygamist has much room for an abundance of people at his Nkandla estate. There’s no better feeling than knowing that those R246 million security upgrades will keep you and your man protected from the evils of the High Court.

#08 Russia: Vladimir Putin

This choice goes without saying. What other possible Russian politician could even come close to the sexiness in Putin’s left ear? Men and women across the world, are constantly in pursuit of looking ageless, yet they end up falling short. Putin’s baldness has culminated in an ageless look, that could easily place him on the cover of GQ magazine. The early twenties appearing man knows what he wants, and he knows exactly how to get it. Being a lady by his side, would no doubt be a very advantageous position for yourself. If he can maneuver the government to ensue in himself being appointed to the position of president for an unprecedented second time, he could make anything possible for you.

#07 United Kingdom: Boris Johnson

Taunted and snickered at by many, those people are now converting their tears of laughter into tears of melancholy. Now it’s Johnson who is sneering, as he sits in his new position as UK Prime Minister. And just look at those smoldering eyes and that blonde hair that could be compared to that of a stick of butter that’s been found sitting in the cupboard for the last two years. Personality wise, he’s been described as crude, but would that not result in bedroom dirty talk? Described as frivolous, I’m sure any successful man deserves to take off in a private jet. Described as lethargic, he knows that energy should not be wasted, and that saved energy could be transferred to time spent with you. This Tory can fly me away any time of the week.

#06 Canada: Stephen Harper

Everyone knows that the current prime minister Justin Trudeau is quite the sexy guy. But being conventionally attractive, and having one pretty awesome party trick, doesn’t exactly match up to the effortless coolness of former Prime Minister, Stephen Harper. After watching him make out with a few Alberta oil execs, the two of you can relax and watch some Netflix together. Breaking bad is his favourite show. But the real rush, comes from rocking out at one of his band’s concerts. If being a groupie for a Canadian conservative’s band doesn’t make you just a little bit thrilled, you’d be lying to yourself.

#05 Brazil: Jair Bolsonaro

Finally, the far right has been brought back to Brazil. As you may know the LGBTQ community has been running a muck, and gotten too comfortable in Brazil. Men who stray from Woman’s godliness, and find comfort with other blasphemous men should burn like the Amazon? Well here’s hoping that all gets shut down by the recently elected President, Jair Bolsonaro. And you know there’s something pretty arousing about a man who has been quoted as being “aggressive, and excessively ambitious for financial and economic gain.” That aggression was probably confused for motivation, and financial gain is something he can use to buy you all the guns you want.

#04 Mexico: Enrique Nieto

Every now and then, there comes a man who’s charisma could convince a billionaire to divulge their tax returns. Staring into his soul while he speaks, you begin to lose yourself, and find it impossible to hear a single word that he says. Well we can see that same hypnosis affected the entirety of Mexico, when he was elected years ago. Despite his failed economic and violence reforms, and his 77% disapproval rate, one can’t help but want to have a few shots of tequila, with this former President. Besides, considering his lapses in memory, you can get in and get out for one night easily.

#03 India: Narendra Modi

I’m truly a sucker for a silver fox. There’s something about the older current Prime Minister Narendra Modi, that gives me the feeling that he would have a good knowledge of what the ladies like. And hey, as long as you’re not part of the Muslim minority, I’m sure this hindu-nationalist would be down to share the extent of his power with you any day.

#02 North Korea: Kim Jong Un

While maybe a little controversial, the title of ‘Supreme Leader,’ does have quite the sensuous ring to it. Just imagine fooling around with Kim, while the two of you whisper sweet nothings into each others ears you can both finger the button that could readily destroy the neighbouring South Korea. Moreover, we’ve established that bad boys really are the sexiest kind of politicians and Kim would most definitely take care of your pesky ex boyfriend. 

#01 United States: Donald Trump

Ok, I know I said he was beaten by Steve Bannon, but realistically, what would this list be without the current US President, Donald Trump. The toupee reels you in with its enigmatic appearance, and then you’re entranced by his shrill and slightly obnoxious voice. There’s something about his ego, that makes it seem like he would be quite the sensitive lover. You'll never be number one in his eyes, as he himself will always take that place….but we don’t mind settling for second place. And how tremendous would star-gazing next to the great Mexican-American border wall be?  He can grab me by the pussy whenever he so wishes. 

Jillian was raised in the Australian outback, and used to know nothing but how to wrangle crocodiles and drink precarious amounts of alcohol. It wasn't until a foreign man came along and turned her world upside down, when he introduced her to the ways of the city people. She's currently living with him in New York City, trying to figure out how to cope with urban life. When she's not doing that she writes parody and satire while staring at her degree in Political Science from Concordia University. (which is a real place)